Tea and Pie Together!

Meoww! Humans, who's ready for Tea and Pie? I never had pie before. It has to taste better than that crap the human's feeding me. He keeps telling me, "it's the same stuff you always eat!" 'So, what's your point, human?' is my response. Okay, I digress...

We will be talking about the Teacups today, and how them and the Occupies need to join forces. What?! Sounds impossible? These humans just need the right mediator: me! The two groups are at opposite ends of this fabricated "political spectrum" that you humans talk about, BUT -- they have the best common ground possible!

They are both aware that our government's representatives are totally disconnected from our country's citizens. Teacups like Rand Paul hate the NSA and spying on innocent citizens, but so do Occupies! They are also in agreement that we are over-policed. The term "crony capitalism" is used by both. The increasingly unpopular Common Core is opposed by the Teacups and Occupies alike, so there's common ground in education. If only they could understand that the "left" and the "right" are equally to blame -- and that's where I come in!

Apparently, the Teacups call themselves the "Tea Party" in human language. You know what? There already was a Tea Party, the Boston Tea Party. The Teacups do not deserve to share the same name as this. Why? Quick answer: they sold out and were absorbed by Elephants. Here's a great article on both the pre-history and history of the Teacups. They were once a grass-roots group composed largely of Ron Paul supporters who were ready to dismantle the Elephants -- not no more. Teacups may show disdain for Establishment Elephants, but they'll get reigned in when necessary. Capitulating to Establishment Elephants (some call them RINO's: Republicans In Name ONly) like Bush and Romney is unacceptable.

The Occupies sold out and are getting absorbed, too. Influence from the "left" has made them vulnerable to support Donkeys. (a.k.a. Democrats, just a reminder). So, what must we do to make these two groups get along? We sit them down, discuss some issues with the vigor we had in 1776, and don't let them leave until they get their act together!

You won't escape me, Teacups and Occupies. Your country is too important for your back-and-forth squabbling. Let's overview some major issues you two need to work out.

The Economy: Teacups like Rand Paul still adhere to "trickle down" economics, as I said a couple days ago. Occupies are too reliant on government to create jobs. What we need is a return to supporting small businesses. That's what made us great. End the corporate monopolies in products like computers, cellphones, media, education, medicine, and especially food. Monsanto needs to go DOWN. Let's move on to "Citizens United"

Teacups need to realize, we must get corporate/big money out of politics! Occupies are on to something here! Sadly, both Elephants and Donkeys are trying to protect their own corporate interests instead of truly reversing the "Citizens United" decsion. All Teacups need to hear is "The Donkeys want to kill the First Amendment" and they'll be re-hypnotized.

Occupies are hypnotized by a noble, yet impossible dream of thinking that open borders will solve the USA's problems. Teacups exacerbate the situation by reacting to the wrong stimulus. They need to focus all their attention on making the border secure, not waving guns around.

We have the right to own guns, but flaunting it is also disrespecting that right. Teacups, you're just going to make the Donkeys go "Haw-Hee! "Haw-Hee!" even louder! Some, like "Fake Rocky" want to repeal the Second Amendment! Oh, how Fake Rocky makes me angry! I thought he was cool when I was a young cat! I don't care if he said what he said in 1998! If the Second Amendment is weakened, do you think the CURRENT government will a) be more brazen in their violations of our Constitution since we can't fight back, or b) Sing a happy song while giving us hugs and financial breaks? If you choose "a", you're right!

Both Teacups and Occupies hate militarized police, but they are too chicken to stand firm against the root cause of this -- the War on Drugs. Law enforcement resources need to stop ruining lives over small amounts of drugs. Law enforcement groups needs to stop lobbying against the end of Catnip Prohibition! Occupies and Occupie sympathizers, you all need to fall out of love with Elizabeth Warren if you're as against the War on Drugs as you claim. Teacups, if you value liberty at all, you'd be more supportive of policies designed to keep good, non-violent humans out of jail.

Well, it's Caturday, so let's not get too long-winded like my human Dad! The issues I mentioned are just examples of what types of discussions that need to take place -- in a locked room, 1776-style!!! As your politicat, I am determined to claw this "left vs. right" problem to shreds!