Rocky's Interview: 4/16/15

Happy After Tax Day! Rocky's been busy on Twitter keeping up with current events! He studies the views of all sides, from the most liberal Democrats to the most conservative Republicans! And of course, he does not ignore Libertarians or other Independent political voices! To him, everyone can be a journalist! Today, I will be asking our feline Presidential hopeful how he feels about the people who have already announced they are running for President!

Q: Good afternoon, Rocky!

A: You realize this is nap time, don't you?

Q: Well, sorry about that.

A: What's done is done. Begin your questions, human!

Q: The most talked about entry to the battle for President is obvioisly Hillary Clinton. Care to comment?

A: Hisssss! This was no surprise. What is most disappointing is the lack of depth in the Democrat field. They have to know what they're getting into with Hillary. She represents the 1% just like all her Republican foes. She'll say anything to get elected. She's dishonest, insincere, elitist, and divisive. She is not a true progressive.

Q: Ok, let's switch to the Rep---

A: Stop right there! Before I talk about the individuals on the Elephant side, let's talk about their collective ignorance. So far, they are once again blaming poor people for the country's problems! They blame individuals on welfare yet turn a blind eye to these "too big to fail" corporate welfare queens! They want the same jerks to be in power, so they give out "golden parachutes" to their selected cronies.They are so blinded by hate that they just lump in all poor people, regardless of their circumstances, as being 100% at fault for their situation. This type of thinking is like a cancer. You know what? Be grateful you have a job, and stop picking on those who don't!!! That's how a REAL conservative would act!!!

Since corporations are people to these Elephant crazies, let me talk to them like people. Stop buying elections. Stop legislating morality. Stop outsourcing jobs. Stop choking out small businesses. You don't create jobs, you destroy them. You destroy liberty. GET BACK TO WORK! Rawwwrrrrr!

Ok, that felt good. You may continue.

Q: Well, let's start with your favorite out of the bunch, Rand Paul.

A: Rand Paul has a LOT of work to do. If he's supposed to be the champion that leads Republicans out of their moral bankruptcy, he's not doing a very good job. I would shine in the interviews he walks away from! Criminal Justice reform is such an important issue, and Dr. Paul apparently doesn't have the wit and guts he needs in order to challenge the Nixon-worshipping Elephant base.

Stop it, Rand. You are trying to appeal to the base that hates you anyways. You need to appeal to the rest of the country, too, and you're not doing it.

Q: So, next on your list would be Ted Cruz. Is there any hope for him?

A: Elephant Ted is a lot better off when he speaks for himself. He sounds like such a dumbass when he tries to tailor his beliefs to "I hate Obama and literally everything he stands for." Who cares about what you hate, Ted! Let's concentrate on what YOU will do to help this country.

Paul and Cruz have both stated their disdain for Common Core. Their support for medical catnip is weak, but better than the other fools. As far as Elephants go, at least these two have a pulse.

Q: Another recent entry to the Presidential race is Marco Rubio. How do you feel about him?

A: He makes me nauseous. He claims he will lead Republicans into a "New Century". Yeah, right, Rubes, you're not fooling this cat. You're more of the same. Your "law and order" mentality has failed to keep order. And quite frankly, Florida Republicans are almost as crooked as Christie, which is a difficult task indeed.

Q: What would you say to Scott Walker if you had a chance?

A: I would say, "Your comment comparing protestors to ISIS disqualifies you from consideration."

This attitude from Elephants is so tiresome -- the whole 'If you don't like what I want you're a terrorist, or you should move to the Middle East or North Korea' sentiment that so many Elephants have said over the years. It's truly disgusting that politicians use the 9/11 tragedy to expand the use of the word 'terrorist'.

Regardless of whether I'm long-winded or succinct, the fact remains that both Elephants and Donkeys are unqualified to lead this country. A vote for Rocky Coast is a vote for the Constitution!

Q: Thank you, Rocky. Go have yourself a good nap!

A. Purrrr.... I will, human... at least until the next time you wake me up with your shenanigans.